Why your standards are too low (and it's not your fault)

10th September 2009

Our wonderful human brains have evolved standards for a reason. They let us to make snap decisions in every part of our lives: is this partner good enough for me? How much money should I be earning? Do I feel healthy enough?

Standards accomplish two really important things: they tell us when we should keep trying, and when we should settle for what we have.

When we were still dragging clubs around the floor, having carefully calibrated standards would be a major evolutionary advantage. Imagine choosing a mate. Evolution would have ruthlessly pruned those who aimed too low: they'd fall for anyone, making them appear desperate, and crippling their chances of healthy offspring co-raised by a devoted partner. Or they'd aim so high that they'd die childless.

In fact, partners are a perfect example of how our standards can change, depending on how we perceive our own success. People who feel they've been single for too long, or who are suddenly dumped will tend to lower their standards. Those who find themselves catapulted to fame and riches, or who are surrounded by overly keen partners will raise their standards. The same holds for our jobs, education, health and more -but these rarely change as dramatically.

As with nearly all the mechanisms in our brain, this one doesn't quite work in the modern world. It evolved for a simpler time, when we lived shorter, riskier lives, and when the penalty for failure was far higher. There was a much higher chance of early death, and in the smaller tribes we inhabited, failure was that much more visible. In short, it paid to aim a little lower.

Nowadays, life is far richer with opportunity and insulated from risk. Whatever problems or strengths you have, chances are twelve industries have emerged to service them. Modern life belongs to those who chance more, and push themselves further. We have longer lives to take advantage of. The penalty for failure now exists almost entirely in our minds.

Sadly our brains stopped evolving around 40,000 BC, and haven't quite got with the programme.

Everyone has their own standards, and yours are mostly born of the environment you were born into. The standards people have for their careers, relationships, education are usually derived from a who we were raised by, and our peers at that time. So effectively, our 'default' standards are artificial - they're just handed down to us. We can choose to change them.

Life has a funny way of delivering to those who refuse to settle. By raising your standards, you're declaring "I refuse to allow less than this". That refusal will give you the energy, the clarity of purpose and the motivation to keep on chasing your new goals because you literally can't imagine living with less. Look at those who have succeeded, and you'll see those who have aimed higher.

If you want more from your life, raise your standards.